counselling auckland

Counselling is talking through, in private, whatever is concerning you. The Kilpan Centre offer counselling services for a wide range of problems from qualified counsellors. We believe that, although many problems are universal, different personalities, circumstances and cultures, create different needs so our psychologists are trained to select the best therapy for you.

Often we find that people get confused about the difference between a counsellor, a psychologist and a psychiatrist.

To find out more information about Kilpan’s counselling options, choose from one of the topics below, or call us.  You can also visit our reception during office hours to make an appointment with one of our qualified counsellors.

Some of the areas our qualified counsellors can help you with include:

  • Relationships
  • Anger or depression
  • Phobias
  • Personal trauma
  • Sexual or physical abuse
  • Resolving conflicts
  • Changes and worries in your life
  • Managing addictions
  • Loss and grief
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Individual, family and couple counselling

Counselling Fields

  1. 1
    Child Therapy

    It is usual for children to experience occasional problems as they grow and mature.

    They experience conflicts at home over such issues as toilet training, bedtime and homework. They encounter problems with parents and peers as they attempt to establish a personal identity and relate to others.

    They experience conflict with teachers over academic and behavioural demands.

    Children’s responses to life circumstances can range from mild and short-lived to severe and long lasting. If the parents’ attempts to help their child are unsuccessful or a child’s problems are not sorted within a reasonable time-frame professional assistance may be needed.

    Therapy and counselling offers children the opportunity to identify, discuss and understand problems, for example separation or divorce, and to develop necessary coping skills. It also provides the opportunity to address parental concerns, educate parents regarding their child’s unique needs and assist them in meeting these needs in an appropriate, effective fashion.

    Kilpan believes parental involvement is crucial in a child’s treatment. From the first session, we view parents as our partners in the counselling process and rely upon them to provide critical feedback.

  2. 2
    Adolescent Therapy

    One of the difficulties parents face, is how to recognize the adolescent behavioural problems which can lead to drug/alcohol use, dropping out of school, pregnancy, depression etc, and when and how to intervene.

    One of the obstacles that can cause parents to delay in getting counselling help for their struggling adolescent is confusion about what truly defines a troubled teen, and when is intervention truly needed.

    Many adolescents become skilled manipulators, highly secretive, and expert at wriggling out of a situation.

    If a parent just “doesn’t want to know” on some level, these teens can easily manipulate the situation so the parent can feel as if everything is fine. Parents can get into the cycle of denial, finding a way to explain the behaviour away.

    It is also tempting to compare the adolescent to others in an attempt to measure the seriousness of the situation. However parents will usually do best if they consider their individual situation and decide for themselves whether the teenager is on a destructive path.

    This is not to say you shouldn’t use any support groups or information that might help you decide. It just means that you know if your child is in trouble.

  3. 3
    Family Therapy

    Relationships offer a source of support and comfort. They can also be a frequent source of stress and conflict.

    When health issues, behavioural problems or mental illnesses disrupt relationships between you and your spouse, partner, children or parents, family (or marital) therapy may help.

    Family therapy focuses on understanding, changing and improving the way family members interact with each other.

    Family therapists provide the same mental health services as other therapists, simply with a different focus — treating individuals within the context of relationships. Family therapy is often short-term, usually lasting less than a year, and often just three to five months.

    Treatment is intended to identify specific concerns or conflicts, assess your family functioning and set specific goals for resolving issues. It usually explores family roles, rules, goals and stages of development in order to spot issues that may contribute to conflict and stress. It may address the family’s behavioural patterns, as well as the ability to solve problems, express emotions and communicate with each other. Therapy assesses possible family strengths, such as concern for one another, and weaknesses, such as inability to confide in each other.

    You’ll set both individual and family goals and expectations and work toward them, guided by the therapist who can help you learn new ways to interact and overcome old problems.

  1. 1
    Couples Counselling

    Sustaining a healthy and joyful relationship can be a daunting task at times. Outside pressures, trying to pay the bills, and work-related demands all may compete with family needs and expectations.

    Partners’ different ideas about marriage, or baggage from the past, can interfere with closeness. Open communication is at times more difficult than expected, especially when there is stress and tension in the relationship.

    Couples therapists at the Kilpan Center devote significant time understanding interpersonal relationships of both traditional and non-traditional couples, the challenges they face and how relationships grow and change over time.

    We view couple counselling and therapy as a collaborative process where the couple helps define their difficulties as well as the goals they hope to achieve. Through counselling couples rejuvenate the love, romance, intimacy and sex in their relationships. Kilpan therapists use an integrated therapy approach to sex, intimacy and relationship problems.

    Kilpan therapists and counsellors also recognize and take into consideration the possible effects on the couple of their experiences and ideas about race, class, ethnicity, culture, spirituality, and gender.

    And, we also recognize that relationships can come to an end. We work with divorcing and separating couples to maintain workable relationships and constructive parenting through the process and beyond.

  2. 2
    Marital Therapy

    Our marriage (or partnership) counselling assists you as a couple in working more effectively as a couple and in cultivating mutually acceptable problem-solving strategies as well as developing or rejuvenating the love, romance, intimacy and sex in their relationships.

    A marriage or partnership is similar in its development to individual and family development in that there is a marital life cycle that has fairly predictable stages.  At each stage there are interpersonal skills to be mastered and the therapist helps the couple deal with their current issues.

    Relationships are shaped by you.  Your past shapes your present and your future, including childhood experiences, your family and your friendships.  Even when there are no past issues to resolve, the development and growth which every individual and every marriage or partnership experiences over time, mean that some challenges can be inevitable in your relationship.

    Typical problems that couples seek marital counselling or therapy for include:

    • Inability to compromise
    • Sexual difficulties
    • Financial disputes
    • Child-rearing conflicts
    • Extended family issues (e.g., dealing with in-laws)

    Often, these challenges are just one stage which couples may experience during their relationship, not signs of an unhealthy relationship or that they are falling out of love or have become incompatible.

    It is also important to remember that a marriage or partnership, as a whole, is different from the sum of its parts.  For example, to describe each partner as an individual is not the same as describing the pair of them in the relationship.  So, our aim is to help you consider the patterns which connect them together.  This helps you understand the overall structure of your partnership or marriage.

  3. 3
    Sex Therapy

    Many people ask what sex therapy and counselling involves.  If you have experienced psychotherapy, counselling or psychological treatment before, it will not be very different but is focused around your sexual concerns.  People can be a little uncomfortable, initially talking about matters of sexuality because it isn’t something they are used to doing, but the therapist will quickly help to put you at ease.

    Often Kilpan therapists will want to start with a joint session.  This might be a meeting that lasts for about 50 minutes in which you and your partner will be asked questions about your relationship, your concerns and the background to those.  Individual sessions may take place after this.

    Kilpan work with individuals and couples who have a variety of sexual difficulties.  These might include:

    • Low sexual desire
    • Erection difficulties
    • Arousal issues
    • Painful intercourse
    • Sexual problems related to prostate surgery
    • Sexual abuse
    • Rapid ejaculation
    • Difficulty achieving ejaculation
    • Gender identity disorders
    • Sexual addictions, compulsions and general problems